So...as it turns out, cooking is my favorite vice. Some people smoke, other people drink. But me - I revel in the ecstasy of the smell of freshly baked bread, sauteed onions and slow cooked barbeque beef. Barbeque is one of my private addictions...in fact, I have a small wallet tucked away inside my purse with money specifically for barbeque, if that explains the level of my love for barbeque. Over the last three years or so, I have even made it a personal goal to go to every barbeque restaurant in Kansas City, both on the Kansas and Missouri sides. Its quite the challenge, I must say, and it costs about a small fortune to do, but with my wallet of barbeque money, it is slowly becoming a reality!! I can't wait!!

But since I have now been to a ridiculous amount of these restaurants, I can't help but try to recreate their deliciousness in home cooked meals, especially since in most cases it is SO much cheaper.

I've learned to oven roast ham to make it seem like a wood smoked ham, make barbeque pulled beef and pork with homemade barbeque sauce, perfected the fantastic deliciousness of barbeque pork ribs with my own special rubs and sauces, and even tested my limits by making the perfect kaiser rolls to stuff with the aforementioned delectable meat.

So, now try this for yourself...my recreation of one of the most heavenly meals on earth - shredded barbeque beef, homemade kaiser rolls, onion rings and barbeque baked beans. Now, if you want to do this whole menu list in one day, you better reserve a whole day for doing it. It will take awhile. But if you break it up and make segments of it during the week for a special meal on the weekend, then it suddenly becomes much more manageable. And of course, each of these recipes are delectable on their own or with whatever sides you feel like adding to it. The beef can even be on its own, without the kaiser rolls, but I love barbeque sandwiches. =) Let me know what you think!

Now, I started thawing the beef out from the freezer at about 11am in hot water in the sink, and it was in the crockpot cooking at about 1pm, and was ready to be eaten by 8pm that night. Now, for some of you, that may be a bit late for dinner, so just start it a bit earlier, or thaw the beef a few days prior in the refrigerator, so it's ready to be worked with when you get there.

BBQ Shredded Beef - Carter style. 

Ingredients 
2 tbsp vegetable oil 
3 pound beef roast (chuck roast, top round, sirloin tip) OR beef stew meat
3 cloves of minced garlic OR 2 tbsp pre-minced garlic
1 medium sized yellow onion, DICED
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar OR 1/3 cup apple juice and 2tbsp vinegar
6 oz can of tomato paste
1/2 cup of molasses
1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
1 tbsp paprika
2 tbsp brown mustard OR 1 1/2 tbsp brown mustard and 1tsp black pepper
1 tbsp cayenne pepper OR as desired
1/2 cup water
Kosher salt
Black pepper
FOR A SWEETER SAUCE OMIT THE CAYENNE AND ADD 2 TBSP BROWN SUGAR

1. Heat the vegetable oil in a skillet. If desired, trim meat of excess fat. Leaving the fat will give it some flavor, but I trim it because I don't like biting into my beef and getting a hunk of fat when it's done. Season the beef with salt and pepper.
2. Sear the beef in the preheated skillet, so each side browns slightly for flavor and texture. If using stew meat, just turn it until all sizes are just barely browned - NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU ARE TEMPTED - ONLY BROWN SIDES, DO NOT COOK ANY FURTHER. If cooked beyond browning, the meat will not be as tender as it should be later. Once it is seared, transfer it to the crock pot. Leave the drippings, we will use them in the sauce.
3. Reduce the pan heat to medium, and add garlic and onions. Saute them for a few minutes, stirring constantly until onions are soft and translucent. Add the vinegar to the pan to deglaze it, scrape the bottom of the pan for the brown bits and let the mixture simmer until it is reduced by half. The onions will absorb the vinegar.
4. In another bowl, combine the tomato paste, molasses, Worcestershire sauce, mustard and paprika. Stir until well mixed - there will still be a few lumps, but that's OK. Add this to your skillet, and stir until a thick sauce forms, and the tomato paste is smoothly combined. 
5. Mix in cayenne pepper last, the longer you cook it the stronger the spice becomes in this sauce. Remove from heat, strain into a bowl with a colander and get rid of your excess onions and garlic.
6. Add in a tablespoon of water at a time, stirring constantly until sauce reaches the consistency of tomato soup. It will thicken up in the crock pot.
7. Pour over beef, set your crock pot on low heat, and cook for 7-8 hours.
8. When beef is fully cooked, take two forks and shred the beef either in the crock pot itself, or on a cutting board. After shredding, continue cooking beef for another 30 minutes to add even more tenderness and flavor. Stir to coat in sauce, and PRESTO! SO YUMMY!!.

** The barbeque sauce can be made without the beef drippings and made into just a stand alone sauce. Just substitute a couple of tablespoons of beef broth for the onions to simmer in. The rest of the process is the same, just add in water until it is your desired consistency for topping sauce. 

THE WORLDS BEST ONION RINGS

Ingredients

1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
2 tablespoons instant mashed potatoes

1/2 tsp cayenne
1 cup cold club soda
2-3 cups Panko (Japanese-style breadcrumbs), or as needed
fine salt to taste
vegetable oil for frying
2-3 yellow onions, cut into rings

1.  Combine flour, cornstarch, mashed potatoes, cayenne and club soda in a medium sized bowl. Let it set for a minute or two - it will be thin at first, but the mashed potatoes will grow and turn it into a lovely thick batter!

2. Pour the panko crumbs into another bowl - YOU MUST USE PANKO CRUMBS. They are the best type, as after cooking, they don't become mushy or limp. Don't skimp, they arn't expensive. Look in your local Walmart next to the regular bread crumbs, and you will find a can of the generic brand "Always Save" or "Great Value" for the same price as other bread crumbs. Seriously.

3. Using one fork, dip the onion rings into the batter, let the excess batter drip off and drop them into the panko crumbs. Toss or stir to coat, and place on a plate. 

4. Heat about 3/4 inch of oil in a frying pan, or heat the oil in a deep fryer. I usually do a batch of around 5-8 rings at a time. Fry for a minute on each side on medium heat, or until golden. Salt generously, and serve. Will keep warm wonderfully in the oven, or refrigerate until ready to serve and warm in the oven for about 5 minutes at about 120 degrees. 

** Alternate method of cooking - place on baking sheet, spray rings directly with butter flavored cooking spray, NOT the floured kind, and Bake in oven for 20-25 minutes at 350 degrees, turning in the middle, or until golden brown on each side.

THE BEST HOMEMADE BUNS EVER

Ingredients

1 cup milk

1/2 cup water

1 tablespoon honey

1/4 cup butter

1 egg, room temperature

4-1/2 cups flour

1 package instant yeast (2-1/4 teaspoon)

1-1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Heat the milk, water, honey and butter until butter is melted. Check the temperature, make sure it is warm, but still cool enough to stick your finger in without burning. Beat in the egg!!

2. In another bowl, mix 2 cups of the flour, yeast and salt. Pour in the milk mixture slowly, making sure to add it thoroughly. Should be liquidy and a bit lumpy. Stir in the rest of the flour, 1/2 cup at a time. Knead with your hands if necessary, just remember to remove rings and things before doing it, and flour your hands well.

3.When the dough pulls together into a soft ball, turn it out onto a floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic.  This should take about 5 minutes. You can use your stand mixers, but start with the paddle attachment, the switching to the dough hook to knead it.  I just like to take out a little aggression on my bread every now and again! Add a little more flour while mixing with the dough hook, a little at a time until dough is no longer sticky, and remember to keep your hands and surface well floured as well so it doesn't stick to you or the table!

4. Divide dough into 12-16 rolls, however many rolls you want and whatever size you like! Shape into smooth balls, flatten slightly, and place on a greased baking sheet, or a baking sheet with a silicone mat on it.

5. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and allow to rise for 30-40 minutes in a warm place.  When buns have almost doubled in size, bake at 400 degrees for 10-12 minutes or until golden on top!

These buns are dense enough to hold a good sized hamburger bun without smashing, and are wonderfully hefty for barbeque and things of that nature! Not really good for dinner rolls though...

***If you want, after the buns have risen but before baking, brush their tops with egg white for a shiny glaze. You might also like to add sesame seeds, sauteed onions or coarse salt before baking.  I personally like salt and sauteed onions to be baked in to go with my barbeque, but since I have onion rings on this menu, I just went with salt.

BARBEQUE BAKED BEANS - FOR THE CROWDS    

Ingredients

1 pound bag of dried Great Northern Beans, or about 2 1/2 cups
1 large yellow onion, coarsely chopped.
8-12 oz Andouille sausage or other form of cooked sausage, chopped into small bites
2 tbsp molasses
2/3 cup barbeque sauce from the beef, or your own favorite
1 tsp minced garlic
1/4 tsp minced garlic
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 ground black pepper

1. In a large stew-pot, cover the beans with about 8 cups of water. Bring to a boil; reduce heat to medium and simmer for 2 minutes.
2. Remove from heat, cover, and let stand for 1 hour.
3. Heat oven to 325°.
4. Using a colander placed over a bowl, drain the beans. Keep the cooking liquid!
5. In a covered casserole or bean pot, layer about 2 cups of beans with about a third of the sausage and a third of the onion. Repeat your layers until you run out of things!
6. In a small bowl, combine 1 cup of the cooking liquid with the molasses, brown sugar, barbecue sauce, garlic, mustard, salt, and pepper. Pour over the beans. Add more of the cooking liquids until almost covers the beans.
7. Cover and bake for about 4 hours, stirring occasionally and checking for tenderness!

Beans, beans....the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you ----! ;)

Try it, let me know how you like every recipe! I look forward to hearing it!!
 

Refocusing your life....

Every once and awhile, I start to feel like I'm just drifting - like I've forgotten my purpose. When I feel like this, I just suddenly feel alone, lost and somewhat frightened. I'm a planner...I need a plan, structure, something to go with, so the idea of drifting is in my mind the worst possible thing that a person could ever do. So, when I started trying to find ways for me to refocus, I started asking these questions to look at where I'm at in my life, where I was, where I want to be, and who I am. Maybe they'll help someone else out there too.

1. What can I do today that I was not capable of a year ago?
2. What has been on my mind most lately?
3. Right at this moment, what do I want the most?
4. In order of importance, how do I rank : money, happiness, love, health and fame?
5. What single word best describes how I have spent the last month of my life?
6. What is the number one motivator in my life right now?
7. In one sentence - who am I?
8. What do I want to be known for in my life?
9. If I had to move 3000 miles away, what would I miss most?
10. In one year from today, how will my life be different?
11. Who makes me feel good about myself?
12. What are the top three qualities I look for in my friends?
13. What has fear of failure stopped me from doing?
14. What is something I have wanted to do since I was a little kid?
15. What stands between me and what I want?
16. What do I do when nothing else seems to make me happy?
17. When did I first realize how short life is?
18. What do I need to spend more time doing?
19. What issues do I continually refuse to confront?
20. What is something that a lot of people do that I disagree with?
21. What is a common misconception that people have about me?
22. What is something that no one can ever take away from me?
23. What is something that I would hate to go for a day without?
24. When I look into the past, what is it that I miss the most?
25. What memory from this past year makes me smile the most?
26. What is the number one change that I need to make in my life this next year?
27. If not now, then when?
28. What is something that I have done that I am proud of?
29. What is something that I have recently learned about myself?
30. What is something that I want to remember forever?
31. What could society do without?
32. What is one thing right now that I am totally sure of?
33. If I had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would that message be?
34. What is something I said I would never do, but have since done?
35. What's something I changed my mind about as I grew older?
36. What didn't last forever but was still worth my while?
37. If I could go back in time and tell my younger self something, what would I tell me?
38. If I knew I would die in 60 seconds, what would my last words be?
39. When it's all said and done, will I have said more than I have done?
40. What do I question myself about?

The kind of girl to date...

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was five.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.
 

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.
 

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

Rules of Life

Every once and awhile, people ask me, "So what have you learned in college so far?" I never know what to say. The information and life lessons are not quantifiable or explainable in a single answer unless you want it to last the number of semesters it took for me to gain said knowledge. But you know what, outside of book knowledge, this is what I have learned from my own experiences, from people I love, from people that are some of my deepest friends. These are what I've realized make an excellent checklist for day to day life. I made myself do all of these things for a week, and how suddenly different my life outlook was. Try it - I dare you.

1. Sing in the shower.
2. Treat everyone you meet in life the way that you would want to be treated.
3. Watch the sun rise at least once a year.
4. Leave the toilet seat in the down position.
5. Never refuse homemade brownies.
6. Strive for excellence, not perfection.
7. Plant a tree every year on your birthday.
8. Learn three clean jokes.
9. Return borrowed vehicles with a full tank of gas.
10. Compliment at least three people every day.
11. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone how much you love them.
12. Leave everything a little better than it was when you found it.
13. Keep it simple.
14. Think big thoughts, but relish small pleasures.
15. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know. 
16. Floss your teeth.
17. Ask for a raise when you think you've truly earned it, and not before.
18. Be forgiving on yourself and others.
19. Over tip the breakfast waitresses.
20. Say thank you a lot.
21. Say please a lot.
22. Avoid negative people.
23. Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables at yard sales.
24. Wear polished shoes.
25. Remember other people's birthdays.
26. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
27. Carry jumper cables in your trunk.
28. Have a firm handshake.
29. Send lots of Valentines day cards. Sign them, "Someone who thinks you're fantastic!"
30. Look people in the eye.
31. Be the first one to say hello.
32. Use the good dishes.
33. Return all things you borrow.
34. Make new friends, but cherish the old ones.
35. Keep secrets.
36. Sing in a choir.
37. Plant flowers every spring.
38. Have a dog.
39. Always accept an outstretched hand.
40. Stop blaming others.
41. Take responsibility for every aspect of your life.
42. Wave at kids on school buses.
43. Be there when people need you.
44. Feed a strangers expired parking meter.
45. Don't expect life to be fair.
46. Never underestimate the power of love.
47. Don't be afraid to say, "I made a mistake."
48. Compliment even small improvements.
49. Keep your promises.
50. Marry only for love.
51. Rekindle old friendships.
52. Count your blessings. 
53. Call your mother.

54. Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.

When you say you have no money, people assume you mean "I have no money until payday" or "I have no money until my pension check or disability check comes." But for many of you and for me as well, it means I HAVE NO MONEY. No cash of any kind and no cash coming for quite some time.  All you can do in this situation, is watch the calendar like a dog watching a cat. Remember when you were a little kid and you thought if you went to bed and fell asleep Christmas would come sooner? Tried that. Having no cash in a so-called cashless society will truly make you stagger on the right side of insane. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a college student, and my wonderful parents do in fact give me a monthly budget. Unfortunately, upon dividing up my monthly budget, I find that most of it gets spent on food, so I usually end up with $0 to spend on anything fun to do, and sometimes I have to break into savings just to have a dollar or two extra. Here is my spending budget for last month so you can see what I mean. 

Groceries            Fast Food        Gas             School       

____________________________________________

17.58                    5.43              46.18           15.12              

10.31                    8.44                                    9.14                

25.68                    6.29                                                                                              

18.34                    5.43

10.02                    5.43

  4.19

___________________________________________

86.12                    31.02             46.18            24.26           

Now, there's an extra $16.94 in there for beauty, $4.03 on paint for my painting hobby, and $2.16 spent on decorations for my fish tank, but what is there is what is the most important spending habits.

Add all these things together....and you have these nasty totals per category, and then the appalling final count of $210.74. Gross right? In one month, 41% of my money is spent on groceries, 15% is on fast food, so a grand total of 56% of all the money is spent on food in my ongoing attempt at being healthy and my good food addiction, even though I do have a dining hall pass. My avoidance of dining hall food is costing me big bucks, so I really need to kick it into gear and stop being so bad about spending money on groceries and fast food. Especially because fast food isn't a whole lot better than dining hall food for grease content.

Now here's the problem. I avoid the dining hall like the plague. I don't go there unless I absolutely have no other option, or I'm being dragged by friends. Just the smell makes me feel disgusting. I would rather eat my Ramen for every meal than go to the dining hall. But since I'm having issues with money, I need toughen up my stomach and prepare for many extra hours of exercise simply to survive the rest of the year without blowing my budget or my diet, and maybe then I'll have the cash to go out and have a little fun, because right now I can't even afford a Netflix account to watch movies on to pass the time.

Wish me luck. Here I go....

When cash is on short supply, life can get a little tricky. Especially when you are attempting to eat healthy food, exercise and still make more money. I think we all know this feeling...when your belly growls, and all that is available is what is cheap or free, and most assuredly not good for you. I'm there. Dining hall food is about as bad for me as I can get, but I can't really afford real food either. I mean, I have some bacon that I fried up in the dorm kitchens that now lives in my fridge, I have a loaf of bread, hot dogs, hot dog buns, water, ramen, several types of dry pasta, maybe some salsa somewhere and some salad dressing.

It's really tough to turn this meager grocery list into an appetizing and still healthy meal, since about half of these ingredients are pretty bad for you to begin with....

But then portion control can save me  as well, so let's go with that.

I think tonight I'm going to take some pasta and make it tasty without a trip to the grocery store, since I really can't afford it.

First, I take a handful of Ziti dry pasta - just enough for only myself. Toss it in a bowl with a cupful of water, and microwave 10-15 minutes or until tender. Drain, rinse with cold water, toss with Italian salad dressing, top with Italian seasoning and Parmesan cheese!

Presto! Dinner.

Now for dessert.....MUG CAKE!!!!!!! The yummiest and easiest single serving dessert ever.

Strawberry Mug Cake

1 egg
1/8 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp strawberry yogurt (with the fruit stirred in)  
4 tbsp sugar  
1 tbsp oil  
2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1/8 tsp baking powder
4 tbsp all-purpose flour

1 Prepare mug by coating the inside lightly with cooking spray.

2 Mix the ingredients in a small bowl. Beat egg first with a spoon and mix in other liquid ingredients. Then add dry ingredients and mix until you've removed all the lumps.

3 Pour the batter into the mug (do not fill more than halfway) and smooth the top with a spoon. Thump mug firmly on the tabletop six times to remove excess air bubbles. Place mug on top of a microwavable small plate or saucer.

4 Bake for 3 - 4 minutes. Check for doneness by inserting a toothpick in the middle of the microwave mug cake and removing the toothpick. If the toothpick is dry, the MMC is done.

5 Wait 2 minutes, then run a butter knife along the inside of the mug, and tip the cake into plate. Position the mug cake so that the slightly rounded top is on top. Your microwave mug cake will now look like a slightly overgrown muffin.